Jeanne-Antoinette Poisson

11 commentaires
Le 19 janvier 2014 vers 14:14 dans Mon avis m'intéresse

Ne demandez pas ce que votre pays peut faire pour vous.
Demandez ce que vous pouvez faire pour votre pays.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Afin de faire honneur à mon pays, la France, le pays des droits de l’homme, du vin et du fromage, j’ai décidé de m’impliquer d’avantage dans les traditions séculaires de celui-ci, pour être comme le chantait Maurice Chevalier un ‘Excellent Français’.
Ma première grande décision est de prendre une maîtresse, j’ai hésité avec écrire des lettres anonymes mais les lettres c’est un peu has been.
Prendre une amante, il parait que ça se fait, il parait que c’est « So French, So Fresh… ».
Evidemment je ne suis pas certain que ce soit moralement acceptable, mais le respect des rites est plus fort que la morale, j’en suis désolé. Il faut dire aussi que j’ai bientôt l’âge où l’on bascule de l’autrefemme-nue-buste-dos-pola côté, où il reste moins de temps à vivre que ce que l’on a vécu, c’est donc normal que je me tourne vers de nouveaux plaisirs. De plus il n’est jamais trop tard pour mener une double vie, surtout quand on arrive bientôt à la fin de la première.
Ce ne sera pas simple, il y aura sans doute des remords, des doutes, des remises en question, j’ai bien conscience que je joue gros, que je peux faire mal aux gens autour de moi, que je prends des risques, mais être français a un sens, ce n’est pas qu’une nationalité, c’est un sacerdoce, ce n’est pas que des droits, c’est aussi des devoirs… (et des impôts)
Oh non, je ne le fais pas pour moi, je ne prendrai aucun plaisir à me retrouver nu dans le lit d’une jeune fille (oui quitte à prendre une maîtresse autant qu’elle soit jeune, et jolie en option), et à lui faire l’amour dans la position du missionnaire pendant deux longues et interminables minutes. Non si je le fais c’est pour mon pays, un vieux pays, la France, d’un vieux continent comme le mien, l’Europe, qui a connu les guerres, l’occupation, la barbarie. Un pays qui n’oublie pas… Je n’ai pas la chance d’avoir été au combat et de mourir pour lui alors laissez-moi payer ma dette au pays dans lequel le hasard a voulu que je naisse, en lui offrant mes petites morts. Un pays qui m’a transmis ses valeurs et que j’ai faites mienne. Ses valeurs que l’on peut lire devant les frontons des mairies « Liberté, Egalité, Infidélité »…

Ma première mission est donc de trouver une femme avec qui me marier pour pouvoir la tromper…
Je ne sais pas pourquoi mais je pense que ça ne va pas être si simple que ça de faire honneur à mon pays en fait…

pour info j’ai honteusement volé la photo à Laurent Askienazy



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